Power Of Pain - The doctors have a name 4 it but do they really understand ? do u??

I sat alone another day. The world was moving all around me, but it seemed as if my life was in a standstill. The doctors say its anxiety. Everyone thinks anxiety means nervousness or fear, but it is deeper than that. Anxiety holds you prisoner. You can't leave your house. Ding Dong Ding Dong The doorbell rings but I can't answer. There is too much fear inside. You can't answer the phone. Ring Ring Ring "Telephone for you!" my family yells. I tell them to say that I will call back, but I won't. You can't eat. Chomp Bite Chew No, not me. The anxiety even controls that. All the pain rushes back up with every little thing I eat. You can't go out. Step Step Step Everyone walking around me, but I can't move, the apprehension paralyzes me. Everyone says, "Be brave. You can do it. You'll make it out of this." But sometimes I wonder if I will. I try to combat it all, but if I attempt to do anything, it all starts over again. Thump Thump Thump My heart beats faster and faster. I can feel it in my chest. Beads of sweat Racing Falling Running down my forehead. All the thoughts swarm in my brain. The fear picks up. It is unbearable. I'm so frightened, but I don't know what of. The paranoia sweeps over my body like a giant wave. Every day I have to fight what seems to be a losing battle. But then . . . I look outside. I see the colors. I see the life. I see spirit. I know I can do this. Hope Pray Win

Dil se Nikle sabdh bani hai kavita

Ek ek moti se banayi thi jo mala

aaj us mala ka har moti bikhra sa kyun hai

pehle jo khazana hua karta tha

aaj bana khandar kyun hai


Kya sahi hai kon sahi hai

aaj bana asmanjas kyun hai

meelo ki duriyan aaj

dilo ki duriyon se kam kyun hai


Hotho pe muskurahat,chehre pe hai khushi

phir bhi man paresan kyun hai

kya dhund raha hai ye man aaj

khoj pana ye muskil kyun hai


Aaj dil se nikle hai jo sabdh

unse bani hai ye meri kavita

par ise samajh pana

itna aasan bhi to nahi hai

I enjoyed Uttrayan (Makar sankranti) a lot ......

Hmmm finally i m writing my blog.... as one of my friend suggested me .... Yesterday on 14Th Jan,2007 as it was Uttrayan i was too excited.... i wake up early in the morning. Please don't ask me what do u mean by "To wake up early in the Morning " otherwise may be people will change the definition of getting up early... well than i got ready and did some pooja. and then took patang and firki (Kite and String Roller) and sherdi(Sugar cane) and went to terrace with my brother.......

Yesterday wind was flowing fast and when i reached to terrace i saw sky full of colourful kites which was looking too nice..All terraces were full of peoples with their their tapes, decks and kites .It was looking like whole Ahmedabad is on the terrace.I enjoyed a lot in flying kites and in fighting of kites (Paicha)of others and than shouting "Kapyo Che lappet lappet " hehehe...

One thing which is usually my friends and relatives tells about me is "Puja Jo patang tum uda rahi ho usme dhyan do Na, Dusri Patang mein nahi" ... Actually when my kite reaches to a height than i saw here and there in the sky and looking in search of whether other kite is coming and if its coming i try to catch that kite although i have one kite in my hand which is flying in the sky... heehehe but i enjoy to do this and than shouting "Pakdyo Che Pakdyo Che"

In afternoon wind was flowing too slow and unable to fly kite ..so me and my brother thought to take lunch meanwhile..and came back to home.my mom cooked a very delicious lunch for us.. and one of the my favourite dish "Gajar ka Halwa" it was too yummy .. then after finishing lunch ... i got back to terrace and again started all enjoyment... after 7:00 clock we were not able to see kite in the sky due to darkness.. thn i took my dinner at 8:00 PM and went to my best friend Gaurav's home to fly "Tookle " in Hindi we say it "Kandil" Its nothing but kite is flying with a series of candles . I enjoyed it very much as kite was not visible to us but by a series of candles it was looking too pretty and was appearing as stars were moving in the sky.Then we came back to home and now i was too tired and i went to sleep...

Today is 15Th Jan,2005 .Its my mamu's B'day I never forget to wish him .. i wake up early today ..(really early in the morning believe me :)) to wish him.. then got ready to fly kites but today i was not enjoying too much bcoz today i had to come back my institute(DAIICT) .. After lunch i started my journey towards my destination that is DA-IICT and after reaching here did some gossip with friends and then did some work for project .....and now writing my first blog...

Well friends it was all about my 2 days' holidays... i enjoyed a lot and i can't forget all this masti and fun...:) :)